Witness Testimony
Eesh… This episode gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Oh, that’s right… Aren’t all of today’s fighters from your world, Starlow?
Yeah. Only difference is… there’s no Mario, Luigi, or even Bowser to stop them this time. Only each other.
That’s right. These three final bosses of the Mario world will face off to see who is the most potent villain.
Bowletta, the freakish result of Cackletta’s soul taking over Bowser’s body…
…Elder Princess Shroob, supreme ruler of the planet-marauding Shroobs…
…And Dark Bowser, the culmination of Bowser’s DNA within the Dark Star.
I’m Starlow, she’s Squigly, and he’s Leviathan, and only one dark force will come out standing in this episode of Courtroom Conflict!
Across the southwestern border of the Mushroom Kingdom lies the Beanbean Kingdom, a lush and green society filled with the Beanish people. It’s overseen by the kindly Queen Bean, and despite its stronger governmental presence compared to its northern neighbor, the people here are largely a peaceful and happy bunch. All of them, that is, except a select few bad beans… just like the evil Cackletta.
An evil witch with world-conquering plans, Cackletta set about enacting her plans to seize the Beanstar, a powerful magical artifact that could grant the wish of the one who awakens it with a beautiful voice. Together with her Beanish minion, Fawful, she very nearly succeeded in awakening the star and beginning her hostile takeover, were it not for the planning of Princess Peach and the tenacity of the Mushroom Kingdom’s greatest superstars: Mario and Luigi.
Long story short, Cackletta got her butt kicked so hard that Fawful had to suck up her body into his headgear to save her life, and he soon after found an ideal host for his master’s soul: the unconscious body of Bowser. Thus, the soul of the Beanish sorceress inhabited and transformed the Koopa King’s body and mind, creating the Beanish-Koopa fusion known as Bowletta.
Aside from some questionable design choices about her new form – I mean, seriously, who looked at that chest and approved it? – Bowletta proved to be an all-new and improved threat to the Bros. and the Beanbean Kingdom. With the loyal Fawful, her swath of monstrous minions, and a revamped Bowser’s Castle, she was ready to conquer at any cost, and her numerous weapons and abilities made her a match for any who stood in the way of her conquest.
Among those abilities, her magical prowess stands out. She can use her magic powers to cast illusions, freeze time temporarily, create clones of other beings to attack, and channel elemental attacks in the forms of electricity and, as favored when in the form of Bowletta, fire. By using Bowser’s own flame breath, she can torch almost anything in her path, and she can also create compact balls of fire called Flarets which she can absorb to regenerate health.
To supplement these abilities, Bowletta can utilize weapons like spiked Counter Blocks, timer Bob-ombs, and Bowser’s own Koopa Clown Car. While simple, these tools can help her outsmart or outmaneuver opponents, as shown when she tricked the Mario Bros. and brought them to the very edge of their strength with a Time Bob-omb.
And in such situations where she’s going all out, she’ll opt to transform into Dark Bowletta, a black and yellow super form that allows her to utilize the Star Strike attack. With this, she calls down a rain of stars from the sky that land on her enemies with devastating effect. And it’s not just Bowletta’s offense that spikes during this transformation, either: should her foes be foolish enough to touch her, she’ll surprise them right back by damaging them upon contact with her body.
But as it turns out, the outside of Bowletta’s body is actually the least of her enemies’ worries. Should they be knocked down and Bowletta have the opportunity to inhale them, they’ll be subjected to Cackletta’s Soul, the core of her being that has a heart of evil and a body of cotton candy! Not only does this soul share a lot of the same magical abilities as Bowletta herself, but as long as the heart is still around it can regenerate its other body parts back into shape, subjecting the enemy to more endless eye lasers and energy balls!
The heart of her Soul might be what keeps it going, but it’s also the ultimate weak point. Should it be destroyed, Cackletta herself can be destroyed and her possession over Bowser’s body ended from within. And strangely, despite the raw strength offered by the Koopa King’s form, she’s noticeably reliant on ranged attacks throughout most of her battles with the Bros., rarely taking full advantage of the body she’s hijacking.
But if you dare to underestimate this Beanish witch, you’ll end up regretting it – especially after she leaves you seeing superstars!
Bowletta: My new country has no need for old superstars! It will do just fine with only one: the Great Bowletta!!!
Somewhere far away, deep in the vacuum of space, there exists a purple, mushroom-shaped planet bound by no orbit and lit by no stars. This place is no home to be proud of, and as it died a slow, painful death, the only life it harbored turned their gazes to the cosmos beyond in search of a new planet, eventually happening upon the peaceful world of the Mario cast. But unlike the native inhabitants, these new invaders did not come in peace, but instead to destroy. These… were the Shroobs.
Boasting a destructive army of flying saucers, laser blasters, and ruthless soldiers, you’d be right to assume that there would be a powerful ruler overseeing the operation. In fact, there are two: a pair of sisters that act as the supreme monarchs of the Shroob species. And despite the contrast in screen time between the two, the one we’re turning our focus to happens to be the older sister: Elder Princess Shroob.
Elder Princess Shroob led her kind’s invasion at first, taking the Mushroom Kingdom by force and turning everything into an operation to sustain her people. However, when she attempted to seize Princess Peach, who had gone back in time with Professor E. Gadd’s time machine, she was halted by the time machine’s power source, the Cobalt Star. With this relic, Peach sealed the eldest sister of the Shroob rulers away, never to escape from her crystalline prison.
…Or so the princess might have thought, but EPS wasn’t going to go down so easily. Using her new cage to her advantage, she disguised herself as a spirit of the star, tricking the Mario Bros. and their baby selves into reforming the Cobalt Star and setting her free. And when that happened, she was more than ready to show exactly why Peach had been right to seal her away.
And if you’re a bit slow on the uptake, that’s because the eldest Shroob monarch is an absolute powerhouse. Her physical strength alone is enough to content with both pairs of Mario Bros., and she can run fast enough to leave afterimages in her wake, but what makes her the deadliest is the army of Shroob forces and weaponry she commands.
Yes, during battle, Elder Princess Shroob can remotely summon a fleet of Shroob Saucers to aid her in battle. These can summon Shroob Chomp reinforcements, deliver glasses of liquid Toad life energy called Vim to restore her health, and even deliver a large meteor that the elder princess will forward to her enemies with a crushing lack of return-to-sender options.
Not sure where all the mail analogies are coming from, but EPS can also use her saucers to express mail herself to the skies, raining laser fire from above on any opponents beneath her. It might be a tall order for them given her size, but Shroobs are fiercely loyal to their princess, so they’ll follow her orders no matter what… even if that order is to dive-bomb the opponent kamikaze-style.
Just one example of the Shroobs’ lust for destruction: even their lives can be forfeited when the chips are down. But when Elder Princess Shroob’s is on the line, she’ll tap into the power of her tiara and use it to transform, going from a threatening alien princess to a tentacle-armed terror that’s larger, stronger, and even more deadly than before!
Upon assuming her Beast Form, her tiara projects a shielding barrier around her body that mitigates incoming damage. She also gains the ability to attack with her barbed tentacle appendages, summon Time Holes on solid surfaces, exhale poisonous gas, and expel blasts of laser energy from her mouth. She may even turn these blasts against her own Saucers, displaying again her ruthless nature in combat.
And it’s not like being willing to sacrifice her troops is her only flaw. She has precious few feats of her potential due to being trapped in the Cobalt Star for the whole game, and even during her brief time to shine the Bros. were still able to beat her thanks to her other weaknesses. Namely, she relies more on her brawn than her brains, her crown’s shield can be broken by attacking the tiara itself, and she turns into a mushroom when she’s finally defeated.
The mushroom can still possess people for an underwhelming “final boss” fight, to be fair, but she’s relatively helpless when it comes down to that state. Whatever her form, though, the supreme ruler of the Shroobs is not to be taken lightly. After all, her people live only to destroy.
Elder Princess Shroob: I WILL GIVE YOU A SPECIAL REWARD FOR SETTING ME FREE. YOU WILL LOVE IT. AND MY SISTER… MY DEAR, SWEET, BEAUTIFUL SISTER… I WILL AVENGE HER!
Long, long ago, a great power fell from the sky and landed in the earth. Becoming buried with the passage of time, it was eventually unearthed beneath the ground of the Mushroom Kingdom, and with its excavation came the resurgence of its malevolent consciousness. The Dark Star had awakened.
Stars are a common sort of entity in the world of Mario, but the Dark Star was on a level of its own. All it wanted to do was kill and consume the world in its darkness, and that kind of evil ambition got it sealed beneath Toad Town by the Star Sprites. But knowledge of its power remained, and it was prophesied that whichever evil entity should reawaken its power would be given the means to rule the world.
Enter – or rather, reenter – Fawful, the grinning schemer of the Beanbean Kingdom. In the years following his master being defeated and purged from the world, he had been in hiding around the Mushroom Kingdom, planning his revenge and his own scheme for global domination. He knew from experience that usurping Peach’s throne would require the ousting of the kingdom’s heroes, so he devised a plan to take them out of the picture entirely: the Vacuum Shroom.
Long story short, Fawful tricked Bowser into eating the Shroom and inhaling everyone in Peach’s Castle, including Mario and Luigi. Then, as an exhausted Bowser lay unconscious in a Cavi Cape cave, he brainwashed Bowser’s minions, laid siege to the entire kingdom, and infiltrated the depths of Toad Town’s sewers to retrieve the Dark Star. And finally, after using Peach to break the Star Sprites’ seal, Fawful succeeded in reawakening the dark power, absorbing some of it for himself.
Keyword being ‘some.’ With its dark power incomplete, the Dark Star sought refuge inside Bowser’s body, eventually consuming strands of the Koopa King’s genetic code and inheriting his powers. From there it escaped, and after finding the lost half of its powers in Dark Fawful, the two halves rejoined to form a new, completed villain: Dark Bowser.
I know from experience, but for the uninitiated, Dark Bowser’s full power definitely lived up to the legends of old. Thanks to assimilating Bowser’s DNA, he has all of his strength, toughness, and usual abilities, like blazing fire breath and the free-flying Spike Ball technique. But I guess he knew better than to turn in copied homework without some changes, so a lot of these borrowed techniques come with a darkened twist!
Dark Bowser makes good use of his strength to throw around giant boulders and trade blows with the original Bowser, but when a straightforward beating won’t cut it he channels the power of the Dark Star to form cages, energy spheres, and even dark winds that can whip up an island-spanning storm. And like Bowser himself is keen to do, he can increase his body size in a pinch to get an extra leg up on his enemies.
He even carries around shadowy copies of Bowser’s minions to swarm the opposition! There are Dark Goombas for rushing, Dark Koopas for sweeping, Dark Bob-ombs for blasting, Dark Bullet Bills for rocketing, and Dark Thwomps for crushing. How much room is in that shell, anyway? It looks like you could carry a lot more than a few spicy wings in there!
This darkened doppelganger requires no such protein to fix what ails him. At any time when his health is low, Dark Bowser can immediately channel his power to completely heal himself, all thanks to the central being within: the Dark Star Core, which is the fused consciousness of the Dark Star itself and Fawful. Only by somehow extracting this creature and destroying it can Dark Bowser truly be defeated, and even that is no small task as the Core boasts combative capabilities of its own.
This unsettling bug can fly, manipulate dark energy, fire lasers, emit shockwaves, manipulate its body, and spawn portals for foes to fall into. And beyond what it displays in its final battle against Mario and Luigi, the Dark Star itself proved capable of animating others’ shadows, creating Dark Satellmite minions, duplicating itself, and creating a black hole-like vortex.
It’s honestly a miracle that the Bros. could beat such a foe… but they did! With my help, of course. And busting up the Dark Star Core means Dark Bowser’s pretty much done for, since his power and form start going haywire after that. It can be tough to even get the chance since it stays inside of his body and will run away from anyone else, but hitting him in the gut once he turns giant is usually enough to make him cough it up.
For such a once-in-a-lifetime cooperation between the Bros. and Bowser, it’s hardly a surprise that the ultimate evil of their journey together would be such a monstrous powerhouse. Even after its defeat, few Mario baddies before and since could hope to capture Dark Bowser’s presence… and sheer power.
Dark Bowser: Soon this kingdom will vanish along with all who dwell within. And you, too, will sleep eternally in the dark power’s embrace!
Cross-Examination
All three enemies have been analyzed… It’s time for an apocalyptic throwdown of darkness.
The time has come. Let the battle begin!
Eek… I can’t watch!
Setting: Bowletta’s Throne Room
A sense of dread filled the air as Mario and Luigi leaped up the tall stairway leading to the center of the throne room within the huge flying castle. They’d fought long and hard to make it to this point: trouncing Koopalings, Fawful, and the castle’s many puzzles and perils. If they didn’t win here, the Beanbean Kingdom below would surely fall to the enemy’s power. Mario, displaying a brave face, hopped up each and every stair towards the top of the staircase without hesitation or worry. Luigi, following behind him, was less confident and had a slight frown of worry.
At last, they reached the top, and they beheld the disgusting-looking fusion of a Beanish soul with a Koopa body. Its disgusting face twisted up into a sick grin as the red and green-capped brothers appeared before its throne, and stared them down as they approached. This was the monster known as Bowletta, and her unsettling violet eyes stared down the two brothers as they stood confrontationally before her, her chin resting on her fist.
Bowletta: You’ve done well to get this far! You two really do live up to the title of the superstars of the Mushroom Kingdom!
Unexpectedly, Bowletta lurched from her throne and onto her feet, making a loud booming noise as her weight hit the stone floor. Both Mario Bros jumped in surprise, and Bowletta continued to stare them down eerily as she took slow, deliberate steps toward them. Her huge physique and frightening face made her all the more menacing.
Bowletta: A shame that those who want to interrupt my plans seem to have very short futures… Once I’ve decimated this kingdom, your pathetic Mushroom Kingdom is next on my list!
Bowletta tilted her head upwards after delivering the threat to the brothers and spewed several volleys of fireballs from her fanged maw, the flames spreading across the top of the room before cascading down in a sheet of bright red and orange. The drapes behind Bowletta’s throne caught alight in the rising temperatures, and the Beanish-Koopa was cast in a bright orange glow from behind her, her toothy grin framed menacingly amidst the burning throne room. Mario, used to the heat, stood his ground bravely, while Luigi hurried to hide behind his brother, terrified of the monster before them.
Bowletta: You see, boys… My new kingdom doesn’t need old, tired superstars!
Her fists clenched as she spoke, flames continuing to pour from her mouth as if she were salivating.
Bowletta: It will do just fine with only one: Me! The Great Bowletta!!
With her introductory monologue out of the way, Bowletta threw her head back as she sucked in a huge breath, her chest puffing out as she drew in air. Mario’s expression turned a bit grim as he braced himself for her attack, and with a huge roar, Bowletta’s head snapped downward as a huge stream of flames erupted from her mouth.
Thoom.
The flames, however, suddenly rose up along with Bowletta herself, the flames just barely blasting over Mario and Luigi, lightly singing the fabric of their caps. The flame stream, elevated past its intended targets, instead hit the stone wall above the throne room entrance, causing the stones of the foundation to glow slightly under the heat.
Bowletta: GAH HAH… HUH!?
In simultaneous surprise, Bowletta, Mario, and Luigi blinked and looked down below Bowletta’s feet. A small mound in the stone had risen up underneath her, and she seemed to be standing in a pool of spiraling yellow and pink.
Bowletta: What is this stuff…?
What had sprung up beneath Bowletta’s feet was a Time Hole. The portal had appeared due to a strange anomaly in the space-time continuum, and before she knew it, Bowletta was surrounded by a bright funnel of light that began sucking her into the mound’s pool. Reacting hastily, Bowletta let out a bloodcurdling screech and grabbed at the edges of the Time Hole, digging her claws into it to keep herself from being sucked in.
Bowletta: HEY!! LET ME GO AT ONCE!! CURSED PORTAL!!
As they watched Bowletta struggle to escape the draw of the Time Hole, Mario and Luigi looked at each other as they both got an idea. Leaping high into the air, they descended upon Bowletta and stomped on her face forcefully, pushing her further into the portal. They flipped off her head and landed back on the throne platform, Bowletta screeching as her claws slid out of their holds and she fell into the Time Hole. The bright yellow and pink portal sucked her in completely, and its flashing died down as the Beanish-Koopa vanished into the flow of time, her screaming roars fading away slowly.
—
Setting: Shroob Castle
Meanwhile, in another part of the space-time continuum, Mario, Luigi, and their infant selves, along with Princess Peach, were all stricken with terror as they stared at the large purple mushroom that just seconds ago had been Baby Bowser. Floating above it was the fully completed Cobalt Star, which slowly hovered over the huge violet fungi. It gently began to fly towards the throne on the platform upon which they stood, Peach quivering in particularly prevalent fear.
Peach: Oh… Oh no… That Cobalt Star shard…
As she forced her words out amidst her trembling, the Bros and the babies turned to look at her, the Cobalt Star beginning to glisten with multicolored light, its fluctuations slowly growing more and more rapid and violent.
Peach: Inside of it… There was another Shroob princess!!
All four Mario Bros gasped audibly at this reveal, and a sense of dread slowly became heavier and heavier in their guts as they realized what was happening. Baby Bowser uniting the shards of the Cobalt Star meant the encapsulated Shroob monarch had her full power assembled once more, and the bright light above the throne shone even greater as the flashing and twitching light ball began to take on its new configuration.
Large, bulky arms with pincer-like digits, a huge clover-shaped head anointed with a silver tiara, and a bright pink dress with jagged edges began to take shape as the Mushroom Kingdom heroes stared in terror-stricken awe. Finally, the light surrounding the being faded, revealing a terrifying face with red eyes that stared down at the brothers as it came down to the floor. Its weight caused a loud boom as it hit the steel platform, causing the bros to jump up as the feedback raced through the floor. With a Shroobish screech, Elder Princess Shroob threw her arms in the air and, surprisingly, began screeching at the Mario Bros in their own language.
Elder Princess Shroob: I LAUGH AT YOU. FOOLISH MUSHROOM HEADS. YOU GATHERED ALL THE COBALT STAR SHARDS FOR ME, ALL WITHOUT EVER GUESSING THE TRUTH…
The giant Shroob unleashed a monstrous roar, blowing the brothers back a bit. The babies began crying on Mario and Luigi’s shoulders, and the older bros stood their ground as the giant alien loomed over them.
Elder Princess Shroob: NOW I SHALL GIVE YOU A GIFT FOR SETTING ME FREE. YOU WILL LOVE IT. AND MY POOR SISTER THAT YOU SO HEARTLESSLY STRUCK DOWN…
In a furious rage, the Shroob monarch slammed her clawed hands to the floor, shaking the platform and starting its takeoff mechanisms. The floor rumbled as the platform upon which they were standing began to rise in the air, eventually flying out of Shroob Castle and high into the stormy sky. The brothers held their ground in the face of their beastly adversary, Peach hurrying to duck behind the Shroob throne for protection.
Elder Princess Shroob: …I WILL AVENGE HER!!
The huge Shroob princess began screeching in her native language and then threw her shoulder down in front of her, rushing at the red and green brothers in a frenzied charge.
Thoom.
A rumbling came from deep within the platform, and suddenly Elder Princess Shroob’s momentum was halted by a draw from behind her. The Mario Bros looked beyond her to see that a Time Hole had emerged from the Shroob throne, and it was sucking Elder Princess Shroob in with great force. She began howling as she was lifted off her feet, and she grabbed at the outer edges of the hole in an attempt to keep herself from being inhaled by the lungs of time.
Seeing their opportunity, Mario and Luigi wound up and threw Baby Mario and Baby Luigi towards the caught Shroob, and the babies took out their hammers and whacked her square in her face. With a screech, Elder Princess Shroob’s claws were ripped from the steel of the Time Hole, and she was sucked in forcefully. All she saw was Mario and Luigi quickly recovering the babies from the maw of the hole as she tumbled into the abyss of the flow of time.
—
Setting: Above the Mushroom Kingdom
Bowser: Gyooogh…
The levitating Dark Star platform shook to its very foundations as Bowser, the King of the Koopas, fell to the floor, battered and bruised all over his body. His vision was hazy and his head felt like it was spinning, every inch of his body aching from the beating he was taking.
The platform shook more as Bowser’s enemy slowly stepped towards him, the dark winds around them whipping past them and shaking their hair. Bowser growled and tried to stand up, but a large foot planted on the back of his head forced his face back into the cold marble of the floor beneath him. Above him was the foe he was trying so hard to defeat: the very source of the terrible darkness that surrounded them, the being of malice known as Dark Bowser.
Dark Bowser: Pathetic… For all your talk, you hardly put a scratch on me. More heat to your words than your flames.
Bowser gritted his fangs together furiously. Being spoken to in such a manner was unbefitting of a king, especially at the hands of some photonegative wannabe. Bowser pounded his fist on the floor and snarled.
Bowser: S-shut up… Just wait until I get up and-
Dark Bowser’s foot crashed down onto Bowser’s head again, dizzying him further and cutting his words short. The Koopa King’s head spun and stung, and Dark Bowser reached down, grabbing Bowser by the spiked collar around his neck and lifting him up.
Dark Bowser: You are of no use to me. However… You are carrying some particularly interesting cargo.
Bowser, growling and straining against his dark imposter’s tight grip, snarled confusedly.
Bowser: Wha? What’re… You, rrgh, talking about?
Scoffing at his enemy, Dark Bowser clenched his fist and brought it back in preparation to strike.
Dark Bowser: Behold.
The dark Koopa slammed his fist into Bowser’s gut, triggering a regurgitation reflex in Bowser’s body. He felt something rising in his throat, and with a painful roar he spat out two large masses from his gut. After some coughing, Bowser’s eyes slowly peeled open, and he saw two very familiar mustached men sprawled on the floor, covered in spit.
Bowser: WH- MARIO!? AND GREEN ‘STACHE!?
The two upchucked plumbers slowly tried to stand up, dizzied from being ejected so rudely from Bowser’s body. Dark Bowser, noting his enemies of interest removed from his inferior’s body, saw no reason to keep Bowser around, and so he powerfully flung Bowser off the side of the floating platform, the Koopa King’s roars fading away as he fell towards the ground far below.
With a scoff, Dark Bowser turned to face Mario and Luigi, who were still trying to get up.
Dark Bowser: Pathetic heroes… Watch as your kingdom is swept into-
A bright flash abruptly cut Dark Bowser off as a Time Hole emerged in one of the spires lining the outer edge of the flying stage. The portal between times flared with bright power as it forced two giant figures from its spiraling maw before vanishing back into the spire.
Dark Bowser: What?
Bowletta, sprawled out on the floor, growled weakly as her eyes swirled in comical spirals. The journey through the fabric of time had been a dizzying one. Slowly and deliberately, she braced herself on her elbows before shoving herself onto her feet, just as Elder Princess Shroob was doing to her right. Both new arrivals from different points in time turned their attention towards the center of the stage, where their eyes beheld two familiar sights: Mario and Luigi, both looking dizzied, weak, and vulnerable.
The sight of the red and green bros instilled fury within both of them. Bowletta clamped her fists shut and gritted her fangs as flames of wrathful hate burned in her mouth, and Elder Princess Shroob’s eerie red eyes glinted as she zeroed in on the two heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom. Memories of the bros knocking them into the Time Hole, humiliating them at their big moment, drove both of their blood to a steady boil.
Bowletta: SUPER… STARS…
Elder Princess Shroob: MUSHROOM… HEADS…!
As a nasty roar and a monstrous screech joined together in the air, Bowletta charged forward with flames eagerly bursting from her lips, and Elder Princess Shroob lowered her shoulder and barrelled towards the Mario Brothers, who stood helplessly in the center of the stage. A revenge-fueled bloodlust shone in each of their eyes, and they were both mere feet away from vengefully striking them down.
Then, suddenly, a dark purple flame ball intercepted their targets, directly striking Mario and Luigi while catching the two giant villains in the blast. The force of the fiery explosion pushed Bowletta and Elder Princess Shroob back to where they had begun their charges, and as the purple smoke cleared and rose above the platform they could plainly see Mario and Luigi collapsed on the ground, unconscious from the attack.
Quickly looking for who had robbed them of their moment of revenge, the two’s eyes fell on Dark Bowser, whose bulky frame was poised offensively as small purple embers leaped from the corners of his mouth, which was turned down into a fanged sneer towards the two new villains on the scene.
Dark Bowser: These two will fall under MY power! Away with you two!
Agitated by the selfishness of the dark creature, Bowletta snarled and glared him down.
Bowletta: Nonsense! The Mushroom Kingdom superstars are MY quarry! Scram, you little nothing!
Then, from between both of them, Elder Princess Shroob’s voice claimed the downed brothers as well.
Elder Princess Shroob: BOTH OF YOU ARE WRONG. THESE RED AND GREEN MUSHROOM HEADS ARE MINE FOR THE KILLING.
All three villains growled as they faced each other, battle faces at the ready. Then, simultaneously, the three villains unleashed challenging roars as their stances stiffened, their minds turning to combat as the dark purple stormclouds tumbled above them. Huge pillars of purple lightning flashed around them, splitting the tension in the air like a hot knife. Their shared glares at each other carried a very clear and very serious message.
Only one of them would survive this fight.
Dark Bowser broke into a sprint as he raced across the stage, targeting Bowletta first. Seeing the dark Koopa’s approach, Bowletta inhaled and spat out three Flarets, which landed on the stage floor with a thud. In an instant, Dark Bowser was in front of her, and he slammed his fist into her face, making the Beanish-Koopa reel back in pain. Dark Bowser cornered her against one of the tall dark spires, repeatedly driving his fists into her head. While he was busy laying into the Bowser lookalike, however, the Flarets began to roll towards Bowletta, eventually rolling over his back and causing a burning pain along his shell as they made their way over him. Bowletta opened her jaw wide and consumed each Flaret as they made their way over Dark Bowser’s grey shell, quickly restoring some of the health she had lost to her foe’s punches. Then, after consuming the third and final Flaret, she quickly breathed in once more before exhaling powerfully, blasting Dark Bowser with a stream of fire that pushed him away and across the stage.
As Dark Bowser slid to a stop and prepared to resume an assault on Bowletta, he was suddenly tackled by a rushing Elder Princess Shroob, who drove her shoulder straight into his gut before pushing him into one of the stage’s spikes. Her clawed hands grabbed Dark Bowser’s horns, and she slammed her forehead against his in a brutal attack. Then she did it again. And then she repeated the attack a few more times out of sheer ferocity, all before hurling the dark entity over her head and slamming him shell-first onto the floor, causing a loud thud. In a quick move of retaliation, Dark Bowser retracted his limbs into his shell and spun around rapidly, pushing Elder Princess Shroob away as he kicked up some rubble from the stage that had been knocked loose from his spikes digging into the floor.
As Dark Bowser picked himself up, he heard the sound of flames from the other end of the stage, and as he turned he saw Bowletta puffing up her chest as flames leaped from her mouth. She was preparing to blast fire. Thinking quickly, he rolled up into a spike ball and flung himself into the air just as Bowletta let loose her stored-up fire, missing him and hitting Elder Princess Shroob instead, who wailed at the heat.
Seeing Dark Bowser fly through the air, Bowletta began slowly turning her head skyward to follow his arc of flight in hopes of hitting him with her flames. As the fire stream slowly grew nearer, Dark Bowser found himself directly over Bowletta’s head, and he descended towards her from above. The fire stream hit him halfway down, but he continued to push, his weight and momentum combined with gravity pushing against Bowletta’s mighty fire breath. With a surge of force, Dark Bowser pushed through the searing flames and slammed into Bowletta’s face with his spikes, proceeding to land in front of her deliver several more punches to the gut. Then he roughly grabbed the purple bulbs protruding from her head, flinging her around and throwing her bulk at Elder Princess Shroob. The two painfully collided and were sent sprawling across the floor.
While his two enemies were getting to their feet, Dark Bowser took out his giant boulder and threw it up into the sky, shooting it in midair with a blast of fire. The boulder exploded into flaming chunks of stone that cascaded down onto the stage from the air. The burning stone fragments pelted Bowletta and Elder Princess Shroob, the latter of whom felt stronger about shielding herself from the flaming cascade. So while Bowletta had her back turned, she didn’t hesitate to reach over, grab the Beanish-Koopa by the edges of her shell, and lift her up over her head. Bowletta roared in protest and flailed violently as flaming rocks struck her exposed body, the Shroob monarch’s grip unfalteringly strong.
Bowletta: GRRRR!! UNHAND ME, YOU DISGUSTING BEAST!! RAAAH!!
Bowletta’s violently squirming claws came close to raking Elder Princess Shroob’s skin more than once, but burning rubble pelting her in the face kept her dizzied enough to keep her from landing any slashes. Looking across the stage, Elder Princess Shroob saw Dark Bowser was charging up a huge blast of flames, his chest puffed out and his head cocked back slightly. Conveniently, this was also when the rain of burning stones ceased, and in a quick, fluid motion, Elder Shroob flung Bowletta across the stage. Bowletta’s screeching was suddenly cut off as, due to her intense momentum, her head was jammed inside Dark Bowser’s mouth. The dark Koopa, shocked, widened his eyes and looked down to see the stuck Bowletta, but he had built up too much energy to swallow it back down, and the power exploded in both of their faces, a huge burst of flames and dark magic erupting into the air. Bowletta was sent careening across the stage, her face black and burned, and Dark Bowser staggered backward, coughing and hacking from his own power exploding on him.
Seeing her opening, Elder Princess Shroob roared and stampeded towards Dark Bowser, seeing him as a greater threat than Bowletta. The dark creature saw her coming and collected himself enough to throw his arms up in preparation for her, and she lifted her arms similarly. Fist met claw as the Shroob monarch collided with the dark Koopa, and they clashed with their sheer strength, their arms trembling as they both struggled to overpower the other. With his head lowered beneath Elder Princess Shroob’s chin, however, Dark Bowser saw his opening and began to exploit it.
Lowering his head a bit further for extra distance, Dark Bowser sucked in a deep breath before ramming his head back up, his horns painfully slamming into Elder Princess Shroob’s chin. A pained roar was wrought from the alien’s lips, and Dark Bowser brought his head fully up, unleashing a burst of purple flame directly into her face. As her skin burned and her eyes were covered by smoke, the Shroob princess bellowed an inhuman noise, but instead of backing away like Dark Bowser had been expecting, she wildly began to swing her arms in front of her, scoring a surprise hit on Dark Bowser’s cheek.
Recoiling from the unexpected strike, Dark Bowser retracted into his shell and spun out of Elder Princess Shroob’s path, leaving her to blindly swing at nothing but the air. He turned to see Bowletta still getting up from being blasted in the face by his flames, and gritting his fangs together, he began a slow, intimidating march towards the Beanish-Koopa, who saw the glowing red eyes of her opponent through the smoke in her face as he lumbered in her direction. Strangely, she quickly concealed a toothy grin before stumbling back onto one knee, apparently still dizzied.
Dark Bowser pounded his fist into his open hand, emitting a loud smack as he drew ever closer to the vulnerable Bowletta. Just as soon as he was getting close to her, however, his march was interrupted by the stinging pain of his foot slamming directly into a spiked and very solid object on the ground. His eyes shot wide open and he roared in surprise and pain as his toes ached, and he jumped back while clutching his foot, seeing a counter block with a pink timer Bob-omb standing on top of it. The impact of Dark Bowser’s foot caused the timer to reach 0 on the block, causing it to disappear. This, in turn, caused the timer Bob-omb to start walking under Dark Bowser’s lifted leg, stopping behind him as the number on its front flickered to zero.
In a bright flash, the bomb exploded directly behind Dark Bowser’s back, extracting a roar from the dark Koopa as he flew towards Bowletta, who cackled at the success of her devious plan. She held her arms out in front of her and planted her legs, strengthening her stance, before catching Dark Bowser as he flew into her. His momentum slid her backward for a considerable distance, but her firmly planted form kept her from losing her composure, and once she slid to a complete stop she cackled some more as she unleashed her fangs upon his shoulder, savagely biting into her foe. Dark Bowser roared as Bowletta’s sharp teeth dug into him, and he unloaded furious punches into her face in a bid to make her release her teeth. Despite all his strikes, Bowletta’s jaws were shut tight, and Dark Bowser flailed around the stage as he beat down on her. Despite his strikes, Bowletta was unyielding, and she began to breathe fire directly onto his arm, extracting more howls of pain from the dark power’s lips.
Across the floating platform, Elder Princess Shroob finally realized she wasn’t hitting anything and raised her arms to wipe her eyes clear of smoke. Turning, she beheld her two enemies locked in a battle between each other, practically neglecting the fact that the Shroob monarch was even present. By now she had come to realize that mere physical strength alone would not best her two opponents, but already had she thought of how she would overcome them.
Throwing her head to the stormy sky above, Elder Princess Shroob unloaded a vile screech that rang out over the land of the Mushroom Kingdom. Dark Bowser and Bowletta both relented from attacking each other and covered their ears as the horrid noise assaulted them. Her cries soared across the skies of Bumpsy Plains, Dimble Wood, Blubble Lake, and all the way to Bowser’s Castle, where the shrill noise of the alien princess’s cry rang within Bowser’s Secret Society Vault. Upheld via cryopreservation inside the wall of ice within the vault, an entire army heard their leader’s call to arms, and as consciousness returned to them and the ice imprisoning them began to fracture, the one word known to them once again became their ultimate priority.
Destroy.
The loud cacophony of ice shattering echoed from the vault, and a storm of Shroob Saucers flew out of its open doors, entire fleets of them soaring past unexpecting Jailgoons as they took their leave of Bowser’s Castle. Pinpointing where the cry of their princess had come from, the flying war machines darted across the Mushroom Kingdom’s airspace, making a beeline for the stage floating over Peach’s Castle.
As Dark Bowser and Bowletta stared Elder Princess Shroob down from across the floating platform, the alien princess lowered her arms and awaited her troops’ arrival, returning her enemies’ glares. Seeing the roar as one of a challenge, Dark Bowser began stomping towards her, reaching into his shell and pulling out a Dark Thwomp. He stopped about halfway across the stage, brought his arm back behind him, and with a roar of effort, he pitched the shadowy minion towards Elder Princess Shroob, the stone square soaring towards the motionless princess.
An abrupt sound of something shooting rang out through the air, and a pink laser blast crashed into the Dark Thwomp, obliterating the poor minion into dozens upon dozens of black rock shards. Dark Bowser let out a roar of surprise and anger, and Bowletta stared from behind him. Floating above and behind Elder Princess Shroob was a single Shroob Saucer, hovering silently with its laser blaster protruding from its underbelly. Bowletta and Dark Bowser both analyzed the hovering oddity before the sounds of a swarm graced their ears. Seemingly countless Shroob Saucers appeared at their majesty’s side, forming a huge cloud of the alien ships. The mass of metal saucers cast an ominous shadow over the stage, with Elder Princess Shroob’s ever-crimson eyes glaring down her opposers with a sinister evil in their gaze.
Forcefully, the Shroob princess swung her right arm in front of her and bellowed a command in her native Shroob tongue. The front line of Shroob drones unveiled their blasters, charged up, and unleashed a rain of laser fire upon their ruler’s foes. The initial volley of laser blasts took both Dark Bowser and Bowletta by surprise, landing an array of shots upon them. In a defensive response, Dark Bowser curled up into a spike ball, the laser shots directed at him bouncing off his thick shell hide with little effect to show for it. Bowletta, meanwhile, was not mobile enough to curl up in her shell like the dark Koopa, and so she was forced to endure a rain of blasts from the alien ships. The burning pain of each shot hammering her arms, which were raised protectively in order to shield her face, ached throughout her entire body, and she felt a deep, pain-induced anger begin burning inside her.
It was this burning fury that gave Bowletta an idea. Thrusting out her arms to tank the incoming volley of shots in the maelstrom of laser pellets being fired by the Shroob Saucers, she took in a huge breath and unleashed a huge flame-infused roar, burning hot Flarets pouring from her unhinged maw. At the sight of her enemy’s clever defensive strategy, Elder Princess Shroob initially looked surprised before a scowl came across her face. The Beanish-Koopa had managed to create enough Flarets to form a huge stack in front of her, shielding her from the Shroob saucers’ attacks. From behind her large stack of burning hot Flarets, Bowletta called out to her enemy tauntingly as she took out a small pile of Timer Bob-ombs.
Bowletta: Snack on some of THIS! EEYEH HEH HEH HEH!!
Uttering her signature cackle, Bowletta tossed her handful of Bob-ombs at the back of her Flaret stack before turning and covering her head protectively. The intense heat emitted by the Flarets caused the bombs to detonate the instant they came into contact with each other, sending the Flarets soaring through the air until they came crashing down upon the cloud of Shroob Saucers. Seeing her minions be struck with the giant burning balls and consequently go crashing down to the ground far below, Elder Princess Shroob quickly bellowed another Shroobian command, and the saucers quickly scattered and dispersed around the field of battle, far from the stage to keep from being struck down quite as easily. A small squadron of saucers stayed behind her, ready to aid her at her command. Some of the launched Flarets didn’t quite make it all the way to the Saucer cloud, though, many falling short and landing in a pile around the middle of the stage. Unfortunately, this created a pile of burning orbs around a still-curled-up Dark Bowser, and the intense heat burned him immensely. Unleashing a powerful pained roar, he launched himself into the air in a flaming spiked ball, panicking as he flung himself higher into the sky to make the cold air high in the sky cool his burning shell off. This left only Bowletta and Elder Princess Shroob standing on the platform, both ready to fight.
The Shroob princess made the first move, waving over one of her Shroob saucers before pulling out a Shroob Chomp. She dropped it to the floor, a loud thud sounding from its weight, and the summoned Shroob saucer began flying towards Bowletta, the Shroob Chomp eagerly bounding after it. Seeing the approaching Chomp, Bowletta planted her stance and held her arms in front of her, braced to meet the metal beast head-on. As the Shroob Saucer flew overhead, however, it turned around and shot Bowletta in the back with two quick laser pellets, knocking her forwards into the oncoming Shroob Chomp, which slammed into her chest at full force. Quickly recovering from the cheap shot to the back, Bowletta grabbed both sides of the Chomp and held her ground against its unrelenting charge before breathing a steady stream of fire onto the Chomp. Slowly but surely, the flames’ heat melted away at the Chomp’s exterior, slowly exposing its hollow insides as its melted steel hide slowly dripped down the sides of its body. Sadly for Bowletta, she had forgotten to take her own hands on the Shroob Chomp’s sides into account, and instinctively she drew her hands away with a shout of pain as the super-heated metal burned her hands. With an enraged barking, the Shroob Chomp launched itself straight into her, barreling over her and flinging itself over the side of the floating platform, its barks fading off into the distance.
Thinking Elder Princess Shroob would take advantage of her exposed form, Bowletta quickly got to her feet and braced for an attack. However, nothing came, and she lowered her defensive stance confusedly. Had her purple opponent simply given up on her previously unrelenting assault?
That wasn’t the case, apparently – she just needed a quick drink. Elder Princess Shroob was calmly sipping away at classes of Vim, which were brought to her by her saucers after being freshly thawed from the same ice prison the rest of the Shroobs had been preserved in. Fuming, Bowletta inhaled deeply and spat a blast of fire towards her foe, but it was quickly intercepted by a laser blast from one of her Shroob Saucers, a whole squadron of which was supplying the Vim from Bowser’s Castle while simultaneously protecting their princess from harm, all while Elder Princess Shroob restored her health through the ingestion of liquified Toad life force without a care in the world. Literally burning mad, Bowletta spat fireball after fireball in a fruitless attempt at breaching the Shroob defenses.
Paying her struggling enemy little mind, Elder Princess Shroob continued slurping down the green goop-filled glasses, her health quickly restoring. However, when she took a fresh glass from the extended clamp of one of her saucers, she noticed that the Vim inside was rippling from the center, as if some great vibration was present. Looking around, she only saw Bowletta’s furious assault on her saucers, which could hardly be the source. The rumbling in her Vim was now audible as a low but gradually increasing in volume tremor in the air, and Elder Princess Shroob quickly stood up to see where it was coming from. But because of her swarm of Shroob Saucers surrounding her protectively, she couldn’t see exactly where it was coming from: above.
With a loud roar, Dark Bowser came crashing down from the skies with a mighty Flying Slam, crushing through several Shroob Saucers with his weight before slamming down on Elder Princess Shroob’s glass of Vim, shattering it into dozens of tiny glass shards. Surprised by the sudden attack, the Shroob monarch took a step back, only for Dark Bowser to quickly get up and grab her by the arm. The Shroob Saucers all turned and trained their blasters on Dark Bowser, only for the dark Koopa to raise up their leader as a defensive shield, much akin to how Bowletta had been hoisted skyward by the elder Shroob earlier. Conflicted between destroying the enemy and protecting their princess, the Saucers did nothing as Elder Princess Shroob flailed furiously in Dark Bowser’s grip. Seeing the Saucers’ conflict of interest, Dark Bowser took advantage of their indecisiveness and leaped up, spinning Elder Princess Shroob around rapidly and using her as a living weapon. The Saucers, still conflicted, could do nothing more than hover in place as they were smashed into nonfunctional heaps of scrap metal by their own princess’s body.
Across the stage, Bowletta watched in shock as the Shroob Saucers fell one by one, Elder Princess Shroob’s struggling roars resonating across the platform. After every Shroob Saucer that wasn’t scattered around the surrounding aerospace was laying on the ground in a helpless metal mass, Dark Bowser threw Elder Princess Shroob to the ground, the alien monarch laying still next to the unconscious Mario Brothers. The Dark Koopa landed solidly on the stage, locking eyes with Bowletta, who stood on the other side of the flying platform, feeling somewhat intimidated by the black beast. A drop of sweat slipped its way down her scaly temple, but she forced her eerie grin to remain. Dark Bowser smirked, sensing her hesitation to confront him now that Elder Princess Shroob seemed incapacitated, and he began drawing in a deep breath, black and purple flames beginning to leap from his lips as he charged a huge blast of fire breath. Bowletta responded in kind, puffing her chest out and drawing in her fiery power, and the very air trembled as their flames built up.
Then, they unleashed their fiery wrath, black flames meeting orange flames over the center of the stage. They erupted and flared up as they struggled for superiority, their intermingling glow lighting up the dark and stormy sky of the Mushroom Kingdom. Both Dark Bowser and Bowletta planted themselves as they pushed their hearts and souls into their flame blasts, determined to not let the other’s win out in the burning clash.
Meanwhile, off to the side of their colliding flames, Elder Princess Shroob managed to prop herself up on one elbow, shaking from the aching pain that resonated all across her body. Quickly raising her other arm with all the strength she could possibly muster, she roared out a command in her native Shroob tongue to the huge cloud of Shroob Saucers that was off in the distance of the fight. Hearing their leader’s command, they all aimed their laser blasters towards the stage, charged up large laser blasts, and fired all at the same time. Over the stage, the laser pellets all hit each other simultaneously, causing them to combine into one giant laser orb that slowly descended towards the stage. Bowletta, Elder Princess Shroob, and Dark Bowser all looked up and watched as the monstrous laser ball fell between the two streams of flame.
FWOOSHOOM!
In a mighty explosion of flames and energy, the laser ball exploded, blowing everybody off the flying Dark Star platform and causing the stage itself to fracture into several broken pieces. All three enemies roared as they fell towards the ground far below them, while the unconscious Mario and Luigi fell towards Peach’s Castle.
Bowletta, Elder Princess Shroob, and Dark Bowser all knew that landing this fall would not only be extremely difficult, but it would more likely than not result in serious injuries they knew they couldn’t afford in the long run of their battle. Bowletta reached into her shell and took out a remote with a single button, pressing it quickly. From Bowser’s Castle flew a Clown Car, which caught Bowletta safely in midair. With a cackle, she flew away from her enemies and into the air.
With Bowletta’s cackle causing her to become enraged, Elder Princess Shroob roared at her Shroob Saucers, and two arrived from the surrounding forces of alien ships, scooping her up and flying up to challenge Bowletta and her Clown Car. Dark Bowser curled up in a spike ball and launched himself into the air repeatedly, jumping up in a sort of zig-zag pattern. All three villains reunited in the air, the tension still ever-high as their battle took to the sky.
Roaring and waving her hand commandingly, Elder Princess Shroob was flown high up on her saucers, training their blasters on her two enemies below. With another screech, she ordered her carriers to unload on Bowletta and Dark Bowser, resulting in a shower of laser fire. Bowletta hastily flew away from the pellets, whereas Dark Bowser unrelentingly launched himself through the treacherous airspace, laser blasts bouncing off his spiked hide. Hurtling through the air, Dark Bowser reached Elder Princess Shroob and her Saucers, managing to snag the rim of the saucers with one of his spikes. This shift in direction sent him up, and he unfurled in midair right in Elder Princess Shroob’s face. With a dark, mighty roar, he wound up and punched Elder Princess Shroob directly in her unsightly face, causing her to lose her footing on the saucers. Thrashing wildly, the Shroob monarch began plummeting groundward, and Dark Bowser grabbed the Shroob heads on both saucers as he landed on them, effectively holding them captive. Then, painfully turning their heads, he made them look in the direction of Bowletta, who was flying far away from her two foes.
Dark Bowser: Go!
Not having much say in the matter, the Shroob Saucers took off as fast as they could, making a beeline for the bright-colored Clown Car. Seeing the approaching enemies, Bowletta hurriedly piloted her craft higher into the air to try and avoid conflict, dropping several Timer Bob-ombs from her ship to try to ward them off. Dark Bowser, employing evasive maneuvers to avoid the explosive cascade, pulled and pushed on the Shroob Saucers’ heads, causing them to tilt and turn, avoiding the bomb showers.
As Bowletta continued to lob bombs at him, Dark Bowser flew up and over her Clown Car while still mounting the Shroob Saucers. Once he was satisfyingly above her, he hopped off the saucers, grabbed their edges, and flung them like living discs at Bowletta, who cried out as both Shroob Saucers struck her Clown Car and exploded on impact, blinding her with smoke for a moment. Taking advantage of her inability to see his approach, Dark Bowser dropped down from above and landed inside the surprisingly roomy Clown Car with a loud THUD, clearing the smoke as he drew his fist back and taking Bowletta by surprise with a mighty right hook to the jaw.
Bowletta stumbled backward until she hit the inner wall of the Clown Car cockpit, bracing herself against the rim of the flying vehicle. Recovering from the powerful strike, she gritted her teeth and growled loudly as she stomped towards Dark Bowser, who raised his fists preparedly. Bowletta’s charge stopped inches from her opponent and swung her clenched fist, and Dark Bowser did likewise, both of their punches colliding with the other’s chin with a mighty KRACK. The two Koopa-like villains both staggered back a single pace, and after recollecting themselves, they lunged back in for another swing at each other, striking the other side of their chins with the other fist. This time, they were both braced for impact, and they quickly drew their fists back before intertwining their fingers with their individual hands, forming a sort of dual fist that each of them raised over their heads before bringing their conjoined fists down at each other, their forearms colliding as their strengths wrestled for dominance. Both of them glared at each other through the gaps in their arms, their expressions sour and their fangs bared. With a shove, they pushed each other back and broke the lock before charging in again, colliding in the middle of the Clown Car as their forearms met to form an X shape, their competing might locking them in place as they glared each other down.
As they were struggling to overwhelm each other, however, a shadow fell over the Clown Car and a familiar alien screech caught their attention, and Bowletta and Dark Bowser looked to the sound’s source of origin. They were forced to crane their necks backward to look up a huge wall of Shroob Saucers piled one on top of the other, seemingly amassing half of the entire fleet. And standing atop the giant stack was none other than Elder Princess Shroob, hefting a large Shroob Meteor over her head. With a powerful roar of effort, the alien monarch chucked the space rock at her two foes, hitting the Clown Car directly in its clown-decorated face and putting a huge dent in the hull. The rock slowly rolled out of the dent to reveal the Clown Car now frowning with several cuts on its paint job, and the vehicle began smoking violently, its rotor beginning to fail. Small explosions began to erupt from its engine, and Dark Bowser, sensing the upcoming vehicle failure, propelled a jump off the railing of the Clown Car and rolled up in a spike ball, flinging himself towards the huge blockade of Shroob Saucers. Bowletta was left to tank the explosion of the Clown Car on her own, and she screeched furiously as she plummeted to the ground far below.
As he approached the fleet of Shroob Saucers, Dark Bowser unfurled his body and held out his claws as he prepared for impact with the wall of saucers, Elder Princess Shroob watching helplessly from atop the stack. He slammed into the middle of the barricade, slashing into the saucer he landed on wildly before leaping to another one. Rapidly he leaped back and forth from saucer to saucer, slicing them apart until they began wildly sparking and smoking and ultimately exploding. The explosions started chaining among the saucers, and they hurriedly dispersed in a panic as their comrades went up in flames, leaving Elder Princess Shroob without her forces, only two saucers remaining to hold her aloft. Launching from the final saucer, however, Dark Bowser rocketed up at his purple opponent and raked his claws along her face, extracting a violent scream of agony from Elder Princess Shroob as his razor-sharp claws dug into her skin. Blinded by pain, the Shroob monarch covered her wounds and staggered backward, falling from her perch and careening downwards towards the waiting ground.
As Dark Bowser watched his felled foe fall, the sound of something rumbling graced his ears, and he turned around just in time for a bright yellow object to slam into his gut from the sky. He growled as he was forced off the Shroob Saucer stack by its immense force, grabbing the sides of the spinning object as he was sent rocketing down to Earth. He could make out that the object assaulting him was a star, but that was all he could process before he was smashed into the ground, forming a sizable crater in the dirt. Grunting after a moment of laying still, Dark Bowser rose to his feet, looking around for what might have caused the falling star. Elder Princess Shroob was laying motionless on the ground several paces in front of him, so it couldn’t have been her.
All of a sudden, the answer came from behind Dark Bowser in the form of a very familiar and very offputting cackle.
Bowletta: EEYEH HEH HEH HEH!!
Dark Bowser hastily turned to see Bowletta standing behind him, her entire body emanating a dark aura. Her whole body was a pulsating black, with her eyes a bright pink and her fangs and certain parts of her a bright, sickly yellow that painted a stark contrast between the colors of her new form. This was Dark Bowletta.
Bowletta: You’re quite strong, the both of you… But I’m afraid that playtime is OVER!
Bowletta roared to the heavens as several small azure stars poured from her body, flying up to the sky. Dark Bowser watched the small stars vanish into the heavens, only to reappear moments later as a storm of falling stars that raced towards him and Elder Princess Shroob. The Dark Koopa planted himself in place and drew his fist back, punching the first star into oblivion before similarly attacking the following stars. The falling heavenly bodies crumbled to useless dust as they met Dark Bowser’s mighty fists, but more and more of them poured from the sky, leaving Dark Bowser unable to defend himself against all of them. Several stars came crashing down directly into his face, knocking him back as his vision blurred momentarily and his head spun with each star collision. Cackletta’s booming cackles rang in his ears as pain spread through his body, infuriating him further with every attack.
After a good half dozen stars met his face with quite a painful greeting, Dark Bowser’s fury rose to a fever pitch. Moving his hands up to protect his face, he caught the star between his palms, the rapidly spinning edges desperately trying to get at his face. Spinning around for extra momentum, Dark Bowser roared furiously as he pitched the star back towards Bowletta, cutting through multiple other falling stars before slamming into the Beanish-Koopa painfully. Bowletta growled as pain darted through her, and Dark Bowser sprinted towards her, seeing red. He clenched his fist as tightly as possible, wound up, and delivered an enormously powerful punch directly to the middle of Bowletta’s face.
…Only for him to roar out in pain as his skin began sizzling. Quickly, Dark Bowser drew his fist back and clutched the burning hand instinctively, and Bowletta cackled even more at the sight of her humiliated opponent.
Bowletta: Good try, but that won’t have any effect on me! You might as well give up now! EEYEH HEH HEH HEH!!
Darting in swiftly, Bowletta raked her claws along Dark Bowser’s raised arms, her painful aura and sharp claws inflicting serious pain as she went in for a few more follow-up slashes. By a fourth slash, Dark Bowser’s arms had lowered and his body was exposed, so Bowletta brought her head back and slammed her forehead into Dark Bowser’s face, sending the Dark Koopa staggering back. So dizzy was he, in fact, that his knees buckled underneath him, and he knelt on the ground, dazed and in pain. Low, groggy growls escaped his lips.
Grinning at her downed enemy, Bowletta unleashed an insane cackle and summoned more stars, which rained down on Dark Bowser in his vulnerable state. Agonized roars came from the middle of the shower of stars, and soon all that was left was Dark Bowser’s body lying motionless on the torn-up soil. Bowletta, eager to finish off her tough foe, grabbed another star out of the air, stomped up slowly to Dark Bowser, and flung the star directly into his gut. His tough hide kept it from piercing into anything vital, but clearly, she had hit some kind of reflex, as his throat began to bulge and quiver.
Bowletta: …Ehh?
With a violent coughing sound, Dark Bowser spat up what seemed to be a small black wad. Curious, Bowletta knelt down next to it and inspected the dark mass closely, prodding it with an outstretched finger. Suddenly, it leaped up onto four insect-like appendages, and two red eyes and a mouth full of bright white teeth appeared. The small bug jumped at the sight of the horrifying Bowletta, and it began to scurry away in a hurry. While Bowletta still didn’t quite know what to make of the thing, if it was connected to her foe, she would surely destroy it.
Bowletta: Hey!! Get back here!!
Standing up and locking herself in place, Bowletta began to suck in a deep breath, her powerful inhale creating a vortex into her mouth. The small bug struggled as much as it could, but it couldn’t overpower the pulling from behind it, and its feet were torn from the ground as it was sucked into Bowletta’s gaping maw, disappearing into her belly. After she stopped inhaling, she flung her arms out to her sides and roared triumphantly, the skies above rocking the world with heavy thunder and lightning.
—
Setting: Bowletta’s Belly
Down and down and further down fell the small black bug, further into Bowletta’s gut. After what felt like an eternity of falling, it finally landed on a long, seemingly endless platform, with intense fires raging in seemingly every direction. A large, flaming smiley face was carved into the floor, the as the small insect rose to its feet the sweltering heat beat down on it from every direction.
Suddenly, a loud, familiar voice rang out within the void, and the bug looked around for the source.
???: You’re still standing? Ugh… What a loathsome pest you are!
Out of nowhere, a purple mist began forming a few feet in front of the insect, clouding together until two long arms sprouted from the fog. The clawed hands on the ends of the gaseous appendages twitched and moved around eerily as more fog pooled into the center.
???: I shall finish you off quickly… And then eat you for lunch!
Out of the fog appeared a huge, terrifying purple head, with nightmarish eyes that peered down at the black insect. Its body finished forming, and Cackletta’s Soul spread its arms wide with a ferocious roar, preparing to easily squash its foe. It raised one long, purple arm and swiftly brought it down, aiming to swat the bug into a little stain on the floor.
However, its hand was suddenly caught by a large black hand that sprouted from the bug. Cackletta’s Soul seemed flabbergasted and looked down at the grinning little insect.
Cackletta’s Soul: W-WHAT!?
A black mist poured from the tiny insect, and it suddenly swelled up in size until it was at an equal height with Cackletta’s Soul. Its huge, spiraling red eyes eyed her down with an off-putting stare, with three spindly legs jutted out from its underbelly to hoist its new form up, a second arm sprouted from the other side of its body, and a black star jutted out from its head, attached to a long black fiber. With its ghastly smile and terrifying appearance, the Dark Star Core let loose a disjointed, haunting laugh that echoed through the entirety of Bowletta’s belly.
Recovering from the shock of her opponent’s new look, Cackletta’s Soul scoffed and held her arms in front of her, preparing for battle. The Dark Star Core did similarly, and the fires around them raged as the air grew tense.
Their battle had only just begun.
With a beastly roar, Cackletta’s Soul waved her arms out as they glowed with a cool, cutting blue aura. Several energy spheres appeared around the Dark Star Core’s twiggy legs, beginning to move around its lower body in a circular motion. Taking notice, the Dark Star Core lifted and lowered its supporting appendages to keep the energy balls from hitting it. It couldn’t keep its focus on the energy balls for long, however, as Cackletta’s Soul lunged in with her ghostly hands outstretched.
Stepping backward in evasive measures, the Dark Star Core leaned out of the way as Cackletta’s Soul slashed at it with her hazy purple claws, wisps of smoke whipping in the aftermath of her swings. When her arms came around for a second pass, however, the Dark Star Core opted for offense rather than defense, grabbing the middles of her arms before laughing dementedly as energy pulses shot from its arms, flowing from his hands and into Cackletta’s Soul’s outstretched arms.
As pain rushed through her appendages, Cackletta’s Soul let loose a furious cry and flung her arms outward, shoving the Dark Star Core and freeing her from its grip. As the large black creature stumbled, it momentarily forgot about the energy balls swirling around its southern appendages, and in an instant, it felt electric shocks ripple through its body as the spheres collided with its “feet.” Its entire bizarro frame shuddered and spasmed, and in that moment of vulnerability, Cackletta’s Soul drew out a powerful magic from within her gaseous body.
As she unleashed the powerful attack, time around her slowed to a crawl, and then to a total standstill, the Dark Star Core’s electrified body frozen in place. The corners of her mangled mouth curled up into a horrifying grin as sparks flew from her eyes, lighting up the black and white of the frozen arena with a glowing crimson as power welled up in her eyes. The vile spirit unleashed an evil laugh as twin beams of energy shot from her pupils, directly striking the Dark Star Core’s two giant eyes. As time resumed its normal flow, the giant black entity let out a surprised yelp as it stumbled back, covering its face with its spindly hands as cracks formed in the glass-like material of its eyes.
With the huge face in the center of the core blinded, Cackletta’s Soul prepared another attack by charging up energy and releasing it in the form of a huge cloud of energy spheres that appeared all around her. Then, extending her arms out toward the Dark Star Core, the glowing orbs all vanished at once before appearing intermittingly around her adversary, flying in every direction to swarm its senses before slamming into the core with a barrage of bright attacks. With its eyes still cracked and blind, the Fawful in the core instinctively backed away and staggered on its spindly legs to avoid the attacks. However, the Dark Star was having none of it, and as it guided the bulk of its body around to avoid the energy spheres, it launched a magical attack of its own with a sharp, grisly shriek. In contrast to the bright, colorful lights of Cackletta’s magic orbs, the scenery of the battle turned grey and lifeless, and before Cackletta’s Soul knew it, a blast of grim electricity from the Dark Star struck her shadow, making her cry out in surprise before floating away from following blasts.
Cackletta’s Soul: EEYOW!! How DARE you!?
Flying up into the air, Cackletta’s Soul extended her long, purple arms and began whirling them around her body like helicopter blades before charging toward the Dark Star Core, trails of flame and electricity trailing behind her elementally empowered appendages. Seeing the spirit’s approach, the Dark Star employed a black hole-esque attraction that sucked all of Cackletta’s Soul’s energy spheres before converting them into dark magic orbs with its evil magic. Then, twisting the corrupted orbs with its power, the Dark Star formed a storm of black spears that it launched toward the approaching soul, forming a descending rain of evil lances that fell toward Cackletta’s Soul.
Stopping her forward momentum hastily, Cackletta’s Soul opened its mouth wide and formed a massive sphere of magic power, swelling it to a size dwarfing her own body before blasting it out at the spears. After being punctured by several of the corrupted javelins, the energy sphere burst and consumed every last lance in a bright flash. However, just as the flash faded away, Cackletta’s Soul was taken by surprise as the Dark Star Core, eyes no longer blinded by cracks in their lenses, lunged out and grabbed Cackletta’s Soul’s head in one hand. With her face tightly in its spindly grip, the evil core flew down and slammed the spirit’s head against the stone bridge in the center of Bowletta’s belly, dragging her along the rough bricks while emitting pulses of energy along its arm that blasted Cackletta’s Soul with bombardments of magic as the back of her head scraped across the bridge painfully.
Then, with Fawful’s trademark cackling, the Dark Star Core bashed Cackletta’s Soul’s head against the bricks one last time. Having sustained sufficient damage, her head disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving just her arms and her torso remaining. With no other part of her body snared between its fingers, the Dark Star Core laughed harshly as Cackletta’s headless soul spiraled away. To its surprise, however, its enemy’s arms continued to move even without a head, blindly blasting streams of fire and electric bolts. Without eyes to direct its shots, though, the blasts did little more than fly past the Dark Star Core, which, seeing the life still remaining in the soul it was fighting, retracted its arms and legs into its body, hitting the floor with a heavy thud. It then began sliding across the floor at a breakneck pace, rapidly opening and closing its toothy jaws as it approached Cackletta’s Soul.
Feeling the tremors of the incoming enemy, Cackletta’s Soul braced herself with her arms planted out in front of her. When the Dark Star Core was just in front of her, its jaws were gripped by her gaseous hands, halting its forward charge as best they could. Its huge, toothy jaws slammed shut over and over as it desperately nipped toward the soul’s torso, and, frustrated by her hands holding it back, the core lunged to the side and sank its teeth into the soul’s left arm, making it puff into nonexistence. However, that brief pause was all that Cackletta’s Soul needed for her heart to beat rapidly, reforming her terrifying head and allowing her to freeze time. With the Dark Star Core frozen in place, Cackletta’s Soul flew back a safe distance before blasting it repeatedly with heavy laser fire. Once time resumed, the Dark Star Core cried out as it was sent flying back across the bridge, its body stinging from the bite of Cackletta’s Soul’s laser blasts.
As her dark foe was picking itself back up after being blasted away with such force, Cackletta’s Soul channeled her magic power and out of her smog-like body rose a familiar form: a short, cloaked, and grinning Beanish with a robotic helmet propelling him into the air. This imposter Fawful laughed his signature chuckle as Cackletta’s Soul drifted further away from the Dark Star Core, more and more wisps of her essence drifting off her body to form an army of Fawful look-alikes. Across the bridge, the Dark Star Core looked upon the sea of laughing fakes, and from deep in its psyche, what was left of the real Fawful grew agitated at the sight of his own image being turned against him. Planting its legs firmly upon the bricks of the bridge, the Dark Star Core spread its arms wide as the Dark Star stemming from its head began to glow with energy as it prepared to act in kind.
Dark Star Core: FINK… RAAAAAT…!
As the Dark Star Core ferally uttered Fawful’s catchphrase, the Dark Star swelled to an enormous size before spitting out a cluster of dark circles in front of its body. Those small black orbs suddenly revealed bug-like legs and stood up to form a miniature military of Dark Satellmites that trained their attention on the giant pink cloud of non-Fawfuls across the bridge.
Cackletta’s Soul: FIRE!
At Cackletta’s Soul’s command, the Fawful clone cloud began firing green blasts of energy from their Vacuum Helmets, raining down a storm of shots toward the Dark Satellmites. In response, the small circular underlings began to return fire with their own laser shots, creating a chaotic exchange of blasts between the forces of the soul and the core. As the battle continued to wage between the Fawful copies and the Satellmites, however, their leaders were staying behind their battalions of baddies, collecting huge amounts of energy as they prepared to throw everything they could muster at their opposition. Cackletta’s Soul’s eyes began to glow brightly with luminescent red energy, while the Dark Star began to glimmer in an ominous purple light as a bright spark grew in the center of its face.
Soul & Core: D I E !
Cackletta’s Soul unleashed a massive scarlet beam of energy from her eyes at the same time that the Dark Star Core loosed a magical ray of darkness. Neither had any regard for their expendable minions standing in the crossfire, and the collision of the two giant blasts consumed both the cloud of duplicate Fawfuls and the dozens of Dark Satellmites. The two streams of energy met in the center of the bridge, both combatants straining to overpower their foe’s blast as the fiery background was lit up by the sparks of red and purple flew in every direction from the middle of the clash.
Beneath the beam clash, however, the bodies of the fallen Dark Satellmites were pulsating with a red light as they lay motionless on the floor of the bridge. As their deaths lit their imaginary fuse, combined with the energy rippling through the air above them, they glowed even brighter before detonating all at once in a massive explosion of dark energy. The competition between the lasers couldn’t handle the additional power of the exploding Satellmites, and the bridge’s cracks that had been forming during the battle splintered out further as the two lasers exploded against each other. Cackletta’s Soul and the Dark Star Core both ceased their fire as they saw cracks rush along the body of the bridge beneath them, and with a mighty crack, the entire bridge collapsed, the bricks that were once conjoined to form it falling deep into the fiery abyss below.
Cackletta’s Soul hovered in place, unaffected by the collapse of the bridge. The Dark Star Core, however, began to descend with a screech as its spindly, twiggy legs flailed uselessly in the air without anything to support its bulk. As her foe plummeted below her, Cackletta’s Soul folded her arms and began to appropriately cackle at its surprised look.
Cackletta’s Soul: EEYEH HEH HEH HEH! Farewell, pest!
As the Dark Star Core dipped just below the surface of the flames and out of the sight of Cackletta’s Soul, the Dark Star itself flashed brightly, acting independently of Fawful’s mind. The bulk of the core grew a surprised face as the Dark Star retracted its massive form into its circular shape, removing the extra weight and allowing it to stop its fall before it was consumed by the fire raging around it. Channeling its dark power along with the element of surprise that it had, the Dark Star opened a portal in front of it and flew in, escaping a fiery fate in the pits of Bowletta’s belly.
As Cackletta’s Soul continued to smugly laugh at the apparent downfall of her pitch-black opponent, she was suddenly caught off-guard by what felt like little more than a breeze running past her. In the blink of an eye, however, that breeze grew into a howling gust that was pulling her backward. As small trails of her gaseous body were pulled along toward the mighty vacuum effect behind her, she cried out in protest as she attempted to outpace the pull that was being exerted on her body.
Cackletta’s Soul: Eeh!? What… is this… power…!?
That powerful vortex was nothing less than the Dark Star itself, having reappeared through a portal from below the visible void of Bowletta’s burning belly. It was now spinning at a ludicrous speed and using its magic power to simulate a black hole, draining even the color from the incendiary surroundings as its pull drew in the parts of the collapsed bridge, wisps of flame from the background, and, as intended, the cloud of smog that made up Cackletta’s Soul’s body. With a violent, detesting screech, Cackletta’s Soul expressed her vile fury as her arms completely dissipated into trails of gas that flew into the Dark Star’s all-consuming void. A look of terror mixed with agony crossed her face as her entire head was stretched and strained before finally losing its form with one last pained wail, the nightmarish appearance of the would-be Beanish conqueress becoming little more than an afterthought in the mess of gas that was pulled into the Dark Star by its pull. With nothing left to keep it from flying along as well, the soul’s heart went flying toward the Dark Star, just as it had been planning.
Barely a second before the core of Cackletta’s Soul would have been lost to the abyssal void of the Dark Star’s inner being, it released its lower body from the safe-keeping of its circular form, a devious grin on Fawful’s face as the core of his former master’s essence raced toward him. Grabbing the large, pink heart between his spindling digits, the Dark Star Core unleashed a haunting cackle as its fingers dug into the captive heart and began to pull away from each other. Over the terrifying echoes of the Dark Star Core’s evil tittering, the sounds of Cackletta’s Soul’s heart beginning to crack could be heard as it began to splinter down the middle as a result of the great force being exerted upon it, and with a penultimate shout, the Dark Star Core ripped its arms away from each other, splitting the very core of Cackletta’s being into fragmented halves.
Just as the heart came apart in its hands, the Dark Star Core felt itself being blown back by a massive burst of power rippling from the broken soul’s core. Before it knew what was happening, the star of ancient evil felt itself being swept up in the gusts, and the insides of Bowletta’s belly suddenly raced from its sight, all while its grip on the shattered heart loosened, allowing the broken soul to fall lifelessly into the fiery abyss below.
—
Setting: Dark Bumpsy Plains
Bowletta: WHA!? Huh- HEY!! What’s happening to me!?
Bowletta’s grin of triumph quickly turned into a frown of discomfort as a growing pain emerged from within her belly. Small wisps of gas began to leak from between her fangs, and the Beanish-Koopa began to grip at her own throat as though she were choking. After several strained coughs and gagging sounds, she finally spat up the Dark Star Core, the small black bug flying through the air before landing on Dark Bowser’s motionless body. Quickly, while Bowletta was still coughing harshly and staggering around, the core of the evil star scuttled across Dark Bowser’s exposed belly and hopped into his open mouth, scurrying down to safety.
With the return of the core of his being, Dark Bowser felt refreshed and healed as the Dark Star Core quickly healed his wounds, allowing him to get back to his feet with a heavy grunt. The incessant grunting and coughing of Bowletta as her spirit within flickered out and waned drew the dark Koopa’s attention, and a single gaze upon the suffering Beanish-Koopa reinstated the memories of just moments ago when Dark Bowletta had utterly humiliated him with her barrages of stars and her untouchable burning hide. These unpleasant recollections quickly sparked his rage anew, and Dark Bowser slowly stormed over to the suffering Bowletta, a murderous shine flaring up in his scarlet scowl. With her body racked with a violent coughing fit and purple smoke pouring from her jaws, Bowletta could offer no more than a raised hand in the way of resistance.
Bowletta: N-no… *cough, cough* P-please…!
Any amount of hesitation she could have hoped for in her dark opponent’s gaze was quashed as Dark Bowser grabbed her wrist in an iron grasp, pulling her up and clamping down his other hand around her throat. Bowletta hissed and wheezed as Dark Bowser tightened his grip around her neck, slowly and painfully squeezing the life out of the Beanish-Koopa at the same time that her soul was fading away from inside the possessed shell she inhabited.
However, that shell she inhabited would not be felled by the relentless grip of the Dark Star. Instead, both Bowletta and Dark Bowser were gruesomely shocked to see a needle-pointed tentacle rip through Bowletta’s forehead in a spray of blood, goring through the back of her head and out the front in the blink of an eye. Dark Bowser recoiled in surprise, releasing Bowletta’s throat and backing away just in time for two more tentacles to jab themselves through the flesh of the Beanish-Koopa’s arms. A fourth and final tentacle punctured her gut, and as Bowletta’s final tortured wail erupted from her throat, the tentacles all pulled in the directions opposite each other, ripping Bowletta’s body into four separated, mangled pieces that gushed blood across the dark plains. As the Beanish-Koopa’s innards and body fluids spilled across the ground, the pointed tentacles flung the ripped-up corpse off themselves and retreated back to their source, which Dark Bowser could now plainly see.
Elder Princess Shroob stood before him in all her terrifying glory, her body having taken on a new gargantuan shape. The four tentacles that had just gruesomely ended Bowletta were sprouting from her sides, and her short, stubby legs were now replaced by a mass of tentacles that supported the Shroob princess’s massive torso and head. A glowing aura surrounded her terrifying majesty, and with her Beast Form fully assumed, Elder Princess Shroob unleashed a furious howl at Dark Bowser. She had not forgotten the horrible scar across her face that the dark Koopa had administered to her before, and now she was set on exacting her revenge. Answering his transformed foe’s challenge, Dark Bowser roared right back and assumed a battle stance. As the fight only escalated, the sky grew darker and darker, a raging storm of lightning going off over the scene of the fight. The world plunged further into an apocalyptic void, and as the two evil beings stared each other down, there was but one guarantee in the face of the final clash. And that was that their conflict, down from three contestants to two…
…was in the final.
Elder Princess Shroob’s clawed tentacles rushed forward to impale Dark Bowser, the alien monarch herself patiently sitting in place as her extendable appendages crossed the gap between her and her adversary by themselves. Balling up his fists and summoning his renewed strength, Dark Bowser punched each tentacle out of their intended trajectory before bolting toward Elder Princess Shroob at top speed, baring his fangs in an evil sneer and roaring aggressively as he looked to get in close. However, the deflected tentacles quickly changed course and rushed at Dark Bowser from behind, rushing past him before wrapping around each other below his field of vision, forming a tripwire that the dark Koopa’s legs struck with great speed. Dark Bowser let out a surprised growl as he began to fall forward, but before he could solidly slam against the grass, the tentacles wrapped around him with blinding quickness before lifting him up in their twisting embrace, harshly squeezing and roughly poking his skin as they searched for a weak point through which to puncture his tough hide. With her elongated arms temporarily restraining her opponent, Elder Princess Shroob let out another Shroobish rallying cry, and the sounds of the Shroob saucers mobilizing high in the sky began to ring out once more.
Just as one of his transformed transgressor’s tentacles went to prod him again, Dark Bowser snarled and sank his fangs into the skinny alien appendage. Elder Princess Shroob let out a surprised, but not overly pained, cry, and her tangled grip on his body slackened just enough for the dark Koopa to retreat into his shell and whirl around repellingly, shaking off her serpent-like arms and allowing him to return to the ground once again. Remaining retracted in his shell for extra defense, Dark Bowser spun in place rapidly to build up speed before taking off across the barren plains, whirling toward Elder Princess Shroob and tearing up the ground in his wake. However, just before he could forcefully tackle his giant enemy, his whirling rampage was roughly halted against seemingly nothing. Elder Princess Shroob’s crown was projecting a defensive force field around her body, and regardless of how fast Dark Bowser’s spinning attack was, it was ineffective in knocking through this translucent barricade.
To get her opponent away from her, Elder Princess Shroob called to the heavens again, and a silver and purple blur raced down from the skies, slamming into Dark Bowser’s shell from the right and sending the dark Koopa flying away with an explosion upon impact. Unfurling his limbs and head from the safe confines of his shell mid-flight, Dark Bowser dug his claws and paws into the ground to drag himself to a halt. Once he had stopped sliding, the ancient evil entity noticed several steel fragments scattered across the ground around him, along with what seemed to be a purple mushroom tip. What had dive-bombed him from the air was a Shroob Saucer, and as Dark Bowser’s attention was turned to the sky at the familiar sound of mobilizing saucers, he saw even more of them in a scattered formation above his royal adversary. Recalling how vicious such large numbers of the Shroob air forces could be, Dark Bowser tensed up and prepared himself for the incoming onslaught. However, it wasn’t coming, for Elder Princess Shroob’s plan of action was a much more desperate maneuver. Her jaw was opened wide, and a spark lit up in her mouth as she summoned an oval of energy. Dark Bowser braced himself for this instead, but still, the blast wasn’t coming. The elder shroob monarch had a different target.
Suddenly, Elder Princess Shroob’s large head tilted back so she could face the Shroob saucers overhead before she blasted her energy pellet up at them, the seemingly mutinous maneuver taking Dark Bowser by surprise. It struck one of the Shroob saucers in the middle of the cloud and bounced around to several others before dissipating. The ones that were struck with the princess’s traitorous shot were bursting with flame and electricity, and with a harrowing commander’s cry, she gave her forces an order. The unharmed Shroob saucers began firing relentlessly toward Dark Bowser, but the damaged ones simply descended toward the dark Koopa in a suicide bomb attack. Dark Bowser swiftly began to employ evasive maneuvers, but it hardly mattered how fast he could dodge; nothing could have gotten away from such a barrage unscathed. Hammered and pelted with laser pellets and exploding Shroob saucers alike, Dark Bowser’s pained cries echoed across the barren Bumpsy Plains, all while Elder Princess Shroob watched her opponent suffer under her army’s onslaught.
However, Dark Bowser was by no means put down by the relentless flurry of incoming attacks. Toughing through the hits, Dark Bowser sucked in a deep breath, dark smog puffing from his lips as he did so, before forcefully exhaling with a roar, a massive whirlwind whipping up as a result of his forceful puff. The dark whirlwind was something of a miniature tornado, with dark clouds spiraling along with the cyclonic winds as the swirling mass of air reached the highest clouds of the sky, swirling them and further agitating the darkened skies into a full-on dry thunderstorm. As flashes of purple lightning went off in the skies above and in the further reaches of the Mushroom Kingdom, the many Shroob saucers in the air being caught in the violent violet vortex. All of Elder Princess Shroob’s currently present forces were caught up together in a massive clump in the cyclone, and with a quick cutoff of his exhale and an extension of his arm, Dark Bowser channeled his evil magic and formed a dark, spindly cage that closed in on the huge clump of Shroob saucers, compressing them together within the bars. A tether from the top of the cage trailed all the way to Dark Bowser’s hand, and he gripped the tether tightly as he heaved the caged and collected Shroob saucers like a makeshift mace, swinging the cage over his head and smashing it down painfully on top of Elder Princess Shroob’s enlarged skull.
The alien monarch let out a stunned screech as she staggered back, the jewel within her crown having suffered a few cracks of damage to show for Dark Bowser’s massive counterattack. After tossing the caged Shroob saucers far into the horizon to keep them from returning to the front lines, Dark Bowser curled up into a spiked ball and launched himself into the air at a diagonal angle, proceeding to launch himself downward after reaching a high point in the air to descend upon the staggered Elder Princess Shroob, descending from above with a mighty blow to her protective shielding aura. Springing forward once more after touching down on the ground, Dark Bowser continued to unrelentingly plow his fists into the translucent barrier between him and his monstrous opponent, and out of the corner of his angled red eyes, he noticed that Elder Princess Shroob’s crown lit up every time his knuckles rapped against the protective field. With his attention momentarily averted, the shroob princess’s tentacles shot out and ensnared his forearms in their wrappings, flinging him away and buying time for her to regain her bearings.
Sprouting several more arm-like tentacles in preparation for her next offensive tactic, Elder Princess Shroob stabbed her barb-tipped appendages into the ground around her, ripping up huge chunks of earth before fervently flinging them forcefully at her dark opponent. Scoffing with evil superiority, Dark Bowser plowed his powerful fists into each and every mass of earth that came toward him, shattering them into showers of soil and sediment that scattered across the plains. As his fists negated Elder Princess Shroob’s earthen projectiles, Dark Bowser made a slow but steady advance, powering through the repeated hunks of dirt being hurled in his direction as he made headway toward his royal adversary. Seeing the dark Koopa making forward progress in approaching her current position, Elder Princess Shroob paused her barrage to stab even more barbed tentacles into the ground in her midst, ripping up even more numerous and sizeable earthen lumps before throwing them all at once with a desperate shriek. In response, Dark Bowser formulated a plan and withdrew a massive boulder from the confines of his shell, roaring in strain as he flung the huge rock forward with great strength. Dark Bowser’s boulder, denser and heavier than any of the dirt heaps that stood in its path, split the flurry of projectiles straight down the middle, unrelentingly flying forward.
Seeing the incoming boulder race in her direction, Elder Princess Shroob channeled another energy blast from her mouth, spitting the powerful disc from her maw to counter the boulder’s momentum. The pinkish-purple energy pellet sparked and flared as it clashed with the boulder in midair, but both of them were reduced to scraps when Dark Bowser’s fist plowed through the center of both projectiles, splintering the rock into several fragmented pieces and dissipating Elder Princess Shroob’s pellet entirely. The dark Koopa had used the boulder as a distraction, allowing him to quickly close the distance between him and his foe once again to take the fight directly to her. This time, however, he would learn from his mistakes and, instead of wildly throwing ineffective punches, exhale a huge plume of purple fire that not only caught the shards of his fractured boulder aflame but pushed them toward Elder Princess Shroob as a means of continuing his attack. The flaming rock shards slammed into Elder Princess Shroob’s transparent shield, and with her ability to counteract his movements from behind the shower of stone completely cut off even with her far-reaching tentacle arms, Dark Bowser cocked his arm back over his shoulder as he built up an immense amount of striking strength, summoning every ounce of might he had in his tough, dark body and willing it into his fist before launching forward from behind the burning rocks. His powerful strike shattered a hole in Elder Princess Shroob’s barrier, much to her horror, and she was much too slow to stop his fist, angled perfectly upward, from assaulting the gemstone on her silver tiara. Beneath the intense pressure of Dark Bowser’s punch, the magic gem could do little more than fracture and shatter completely, shards of crimson jewel going flying away from the small crown.
Elder Princess Shroob wailed in vehement protest as her defensive shield fell away and she was pelted with what remained of the flaming rocks heading her way, allowing Dark Bowser to land and rush in again. An evil grin was plastered on his face, as now that Elder Princess Shroob’s greatest defensive tool had been neutralized, he would surely have no trouble getting up close and personal with the alien monarch now. However, Elder Princess Shroob’s quick thinking crafted a hasty defense, and she opened her mouth before screeching loudly, spewing huge volumes of purple clouds from the depths of her throat that quickly built up into a thick fog that cut off Dark Bowser’s vision of his immediate surroundings, even allowing the elder shroob princess herself to safely slip away into the fog, the dark Koopa’s fist striking nothing but an afterimage of his alien adversary in the purple shroud that dissipated into nothingness.
With a mildly surprised grunt, Dark Bowser unclenched and lowered his fist, but before he could turn around to scan his clouded peripherals, a barbed tentacle raced from behind the mist, slashing Dark Bowser across the cheek and retreating just as quickly as it had appeared, leaving Dark Bowser with nothing to strike back at. More and more of the hidden princess’s tentacles darted out from Dark Bowser’s surroundings, digging into his scaly hide with quick and sharp slashes as several tentacles raked through his body from a multitude of different angles and directions, narrowly weaving around attempted countermeasures from the dark Koopa and continuing to leave their mark on his frame. Growing furiously impatient with his opponent’s non-confrontational method of attack, Dark Bowser spun around with a breath of fire to ward off Elder Princess Shroob’s tentacles for just a brief moment. Once they were repelled by his flames, Dark Bowser took in an enormously deep breath, a vacuum effect emerging from the pull of his lungs that easily sucked in the entire violet smog, clearing his vision of the environment completely.
However, before he could take in his newly cleared surroundings, a stark realization struck him as the gas settled inside his body: it was heavily toxic, and Dark Bowser hacked and coughed harshly before reflexively turning his head skyward and bellowing out a deep, discontented roar that spewed his foe’s toxic cloud back out of his body and high into the sky. His eyes closed and his body heaving from the toxic gas, Dark Bowser was completely vulnerable to attack, and Elder Princess Shroob, standing just meters away with a murderous twinkle in her eye, fully intended to exploit this opening.
The discomfort in Dark Bowser’s chest was suddenly and painfully greatly exceeded by a burning sting in his belly, which had come from four of Elder Princess Shroob’s spiked tentacles piercing through his gut. As a shadowy essence spilled from the edges of his puncture wounds like shadowy blood, Dark Bowser unleashed a tortured shout, hanging limply as the tentacles raised him over the elder shroob monarch’s head, and with a Shroobish screech of strain, she began to pull her tentacle limbs in opposing directions, attempting to rip her ominous adversary apart in a manner very reminiscent of Bowletta’s earlier gruesome end.
Elder Princess Shroob: NOW YOU SEE. ALL THOSE WHO STAND IN THE WAY OF THE SHROOBS… WILL BE TAUGHT THE MEANING OF ‘DESTROY!’
Gutturally speaking in a comprehensive tongue, the Shroob princess pulled harder and harder, Dark Bowser’s pained grunts of discomfort fueling the fires of her inner bestial rage. However, toughing through the pain of his body being pulled in several directions at once, Dark Bowser shakily reached down and grabbed all four of Elder Princess Shroob’s impaled tentacles in one hand before roughly slashing through them with his free hand’s claws. Freed from her grasp, the dark Koopa fell to the ground painfully, forcing himself back to his feet as his alien adversary’s aggrieved shrieks rang loud and clear in his head. Retracting her cut-up arms and grunting through the copious agony rocking her entire body, Elder Princess Shroob watched, winded and harrowed, as Dark Bowser ripped her severed tentacle tips out from their resting places in his stomach. A deathly angered glare shone in his purely red eyes, and as he dropped the motionless barbs to the ground beside him, the puncture wounds in his hide began to heal as a result of the Dark Star Core’s influence.
Dark Bowser: Your entire race… I will see to it that every last one of your kind meets an agonizingly slow and painful end.
As Dark Bowser’s intimidating threat struck a chord in the elder Shroob princess, she watched in disguised horror as Dark Bowser himself gave off a puff of shadowy power. Revitalized, Dark Bowser stood firmly against Elder Princess Shroob once again, now much larger than he had been before and with the look of demise itself in his eyes.
Dark Bowser: All of you will sleep eternally… IN THE DARK POWER’S EMBRACE!
Wasting no time, Dark Bowser charged forth with both fists clenched, drilling several devastating punches into Elder Princess Shroob’s huge face before a quick, scrappy energy blast from her mouth forced him to back off slightly. With another commanding screech, the Shroob princess summoned what remained of her Shroob saucer forces, the aerial aliens raining down more laser shots on the gargantuan Dark Bowser. With a dismissive grunt, Dark Bowser reached into his shell and pulled out a huge, writhing mass of shadowy versions of Bowser’s minions, throwing them out and allowing the rolling ball of baddies to collide with Elder Princess Shroob’s midsection, shoving her away along the darkened grasslands. With his enemy occupied, Dark Bowser curled up into a spiked ball and launched himself skyward to deal with Elder Princess Shroob’s pesky aerial invaders.
As Dark Bowser’s minion ball continued to force her back, Elder Princess Shroob dug her lower tentacles into the ground to dig in and slow the rolling advance of the ball. Upon coming to a complete halt, the ball suddenly burst in a flash of dark magic, and the darkened minions began their full-on assault, Dark Goombas, Dark Koopa Troopas, Dark Bob-ombs, and more charging toward Elder Princess Shroob with reckless abandon. With her furious rage taking even further hold over her mind and body, Elder Princess Shroob screeched violently before advancing toward the dark forces in equal measure, her seething ire more than readying her to rip them to shreds. Sprouting fresh new arm tentacles to replace the ones that had been debarbed by Dark Bowser, she lashed out with blinding speed, ripping apart the smaller, fleshier minions like the Dark Goombas and the Dark Koopa Troopas with barbaric ease. The tough metal hide of the Dark Bullet Bills, however, proved too tough for her spike-tipped tendrils to tear into, so she resorted to grabbing them out of their paths of flight, flinging them at the several Dark Thwomps hovering overhead to take them out with relative efficiency. However, with her focus trained upward, the elder Shroob monarch failed to notice the small cluster of Dark Bob-ombs gathered by the mass of tentacles that made up her “legs,” and by the time she heard the burning of their fuses, it was too late to stop them or throw them aside. With a collective explosion, the Dark Bob-ombs dealt severe damage to that lower cluster of tendrils, and Elder Princess Shroob squawked in pain as her height diminished while those tentacles fell in length, her leg-like appendages turning grey and motionless.
Elder Princess Shroob’s pained cry caught Dark Bowser’s attention, and with a quick look down at the ground from his midair thrashings of the Shroob saucers, he saw an immobilized Elder Princess Shroob with destroyed fragments and shreds of the Dark Minions laying scattered around her. They had done their part, and now Dark Bowser grinned evilly as he continued to quickly fling himself from saucer to saucer, ripping each apart in a vicious frenzy. Upon finally reaching the last one high above the motionless Shroob princess, Dark Bowser flung himself over the saucer before plummeting straight down, tearing through the saucer and descending upon Elder Princess Shroob’s head. As the spikes of his curled-up hide slammed onto the alien princess’s head, she howled in even more pain, and Dark Bowser bounced off her head to land just in front of his crippled opponent. With a fanged grin and a low chortle, Dark Bowser slowly began to march toward his enemy, beating his clenched fist into his open palm threateningly as his shadowy form fumed dark particles, his power at an all-time high despite the drawn-out intensity of the battle.
As a last-ditch attempt to keep Dark Bowser at bay, Elder Princess Shroob uttered a Shroobish war cry before welling up a colossal sphere of energy in her mouth, far bigger than the mere pellets she had been blasting up until this point. Pink lightning flashed in the sky as the colossal orb of energy grew larger and larger, growing to a point where it greatly eclipsed Elder Princess Shroob’s bulky body and even Dark Bowser’s enlarged form. Its pink luminescence lit up the pitch-black kingdom like a massive lightbulb, making it difficult to even look at directly. Once its size had reached the maximum amount that Elder Princess Shroob could possibly muster, she screeched demonically and blasted it forward, the gigantic ball vaporizing the ground below it due to the sheer power that was emanating from it.
Planting himself in place and bracing himself with his arms extended outward, Dark Bowser met the giant blast head-on, holding it back with just his arms with every ounce of strength he could muster. Roaring with intensity as he fought to keep the giant blast from incinerating him on the spot, his feet dragged through the dirt as they fought to keep their hold on the ground while Elder Princess Shroob’s all-out blast pushed against him unrelentingly. Straining himself more and more, Dark Bowser intensely roared, beginning to formulate his countermeasure to this seemingly unstoppable attack. Shifting his position so that Elder Princess Shroob’s energy attack was braced against his forearms, he cupped his hands close together as he began to pour his dark magic into his own energy sphere, the currently comparatively minuscule orb glowing a pitch black that contrasted starkly against the bright pink of Elder Princess Shroob’s.
As the orb grew and grew in size as Dark Bowser poured more of his energy into it, it quickly grew to a size where it could hold back the giant orb it was facing off with all on its own. From there, Dark Bowser growled loudly as it grew bigger and bigger, eventually stopping the pink blast’s forward momentum entirely at only half its size. Elder Princess Shroob, struggling to regain mobility of her legs to get away, watched in abject terror as Dark Bowser’s shadow sphere beat out her biggest, most powerful attack. With a roar to express his great burden, Dark Bowser flung his shadow sphere directly against the massive pink blast, and the shadow ball’s superior power pushed its opposition higher and higher into the sky above both malicious fighters. Finally, after being pushed high into the sky and vaporizing a large hole in the clouds that choked out sunlight from the corrupted Mushroom Kingdom, the pink blast burst into a huge flash of light that could be seen for miles around, enveloping and assimilating Dark Bowser’s shadowy energy ball and rippling out across the darkened skies in a fantastic display of power.
Elder Princess Shroob watched the explosion of power shoot out across the sky. However, her attention was sharply and rudely directed elsewhere as Dark Bowser’s unrelenting heel slammed into her face, knocking her over as she had not yet recovered control of her “legs.” She cried out in protest and tried to roll herself back upright, but Dark Bowser’s other foot now came crashing down onto her midsection, pinning her against the darkened grass. Staring up into Dark Bowser’s eyes with terror, Elder Princess Shroob writhed and squirmed in fear as her dark foe glared down upon her, no remorse or restraint to be found anywhere in his scarlet eyes. The elder Shroob princess shot a barbed tentacle up at him in desperation, but Dark Bowser quickly slashed it apart with his claws as swiftly as the attack had first appeared, drawing another pained cry from Elder Princess Shroob’s throat. Dark Bowser was not yet finished, however, and he stooped over to grab her many arm-like tentacles in both fists. Then, with a dismissive grunt of effort and a tortured wail of agonizing pain from Elder Princess Shroob, he ripped every single one of her arm-like tentacles from her sides, dropping them to the ground as copious amounts of green blood spilled from her wounds. Then, balling up his fists, Dark Bowser began to relentlessly rain down power-packed punches onto Elder Princess Shroob’s horrifying face, unleashing every iota of his wrath upon her in a savage beatdown that filled his evil core with delight every time his knuckles rapped against his foe’s head.
After what felt to the Shroob monarch like an eternity of punishment, Dark Bowser finally relented and drew his fists back to survey his work. Elder Princess Shroob’s face was bruised and bleeding with cuts and lumps all over, and her right eye had swollen shut from the intense beatdown. A mere gurgle of suffering was all that Elder Princess Shroob could muster to express the sheer pain she was in, and Dark Bowser drew in a deep breath as he prepared to end it.
Dark Bowser: Your time is over now. Darkness will reign supreme… FOREVER.
Exhaling with great force, Dark Bowser blasted Elder Princess Shroob’s battered body with an intensely hot blast of purple fire. Agonized screams launched from Elder Princess Shroob’s throat as the dark flames ate away at her body, and Dark Bowser only poured more energy into the stream of flames at the sound of her suffering, the flames peaking in their heat and burning a bright blue color as they scorched the alien princess’s body. Eventually, her screams stopped, and by the time Dark Bowser ceased his flames to once again draw breath, the only remaining piece of the Shroob princess that was left in a physical form was her silver tiara, gemless and seated upon nothing more than a pile of ashes. The elderly princess of the Shroob race was no more, vanquished to the flames of the Dark Star.
Huffing and puffing as his rage subsided, Dark Bowser turned his back to the defeated remains of Elder Princess Shroob and marched off toward a high-reaching mountain far along the northern shoreline of the Mushroom Kingdom. As Elder Princess Shroob’s ashes sat motionless upon the plains, with Bowletta’s festering corpse not far away, the skies churned with dark clouds and flashes of evil-looking lightning as a resounding roar echoed from the highest peaks of the mountains.
The age of darkness could now begin.
Wow…! That was way cooler than I was thinking it would be!
I’ll say… But Lev, I don’t understand. Why did Dark Bowser end up the victor? Aren’t all three of them on par with each other because they all fought the same heroes?
If you look at it strictly in that sense, then yes, madame. However, consider this: if we only looked at the three of these baddies on the merit of battling the Mario Brothers and Bowser, we wouldn’t reach any kind of satisfactory conclusion. They would all simply be on par with each other in every aspect. Thus, if we want to reach a verdict that satisfies us, the audience, and the man in charge… Then we must examine the three strictly on their own merits and accomplishments.
Oooooh… That’s true! I never thought about it that way.
So when we look at all three villains on their own abilities and feats… Dark Bowser is the most impressive? But why is that?
Well, simply look at their feats. In his time on-screen, Dark Bowser achieved much greater feats of power than did Bowletta or the Elder Princess. Conjuring a storm that covered the entire island of the Mushroom Kingdom is the most striking example.
Hmm… That’s true. Before we get too ahead of ourselves, though, would it be smart to cover the fight from every possible angle of conflict?
It would be smart indeed, milady.
Okay, let’s start with Bowletta. Going against Elder Princess Shroob wasn’t an easy thing to do for the Beanish-Koopa. Her ranged attacks are significantly more predictable than the Shroob Monarch’s and her method of flight is less favorable in a drawn-out fight. The clown car Bowletta drives never displayed any combat capabilities, see, and that’s being put up against mobs of laser-blasting alien saucers. But the biggest reason she lost was the disadvantage she was at in close range. Recall back to when Luigi was able to escape from Bowletta by just dropping a stack of crates between him and her. Instead of smashing it to pieces with Bowser’s body’s immense strength, she just growled in defeat and did nothing, implying she either hadn’t realized the raw strength Bowser’s body held or that she simply wasn’t comfortable with brute force, preferring combat from afar – likely a combination of the two, since all of the attacks she had in her boss fights were non-physical. Only her Soul had physical attacks, and EPS had no way of getting at her soul in the first place. On the other hand…
…When Bowletta went up against Dark Bowser, the outcome was even less in her favor. Dark Bowser is not only potent from a distance, just like she is, but he absolutely decimates her in a fist-fight due to being the literal definition of blow-for-blow with the normal Bowser. It’s really just an unfortunate case of superiority in everything she can do, really. Dark Bowser’s flames would easily be able to match hers, as they forced Bowser to overexert his own flame breath to overcome them, illusionary magic would do nothing to help her in a fight, and Star Strike was far outclassed by Dark Bowser’s ranged attacks, which are not only faster but harder to counter. And again, her method of healing – consuming fire – pales in comparison to Dark Bowser’s ability to just completely heal up huge amounts of health with the Dark Star Core’s power.
Ah, don’t worry, I can hear you asking – what about Dark Bowletta, and her Soul? Well, for one thing, Dark Bowletta is not a permanent transformation, so its effects would only be temporary while she was taking on that form – never mind the fact that the slight boost to power and defense would do little for her. And in addition, yes, it negates physical attacks, but physical attacks were not the only tools her enemies had that they could attack her with. Dark Bowser’s boulders and energy blasts, as well as Elder Shroob’s saucers, could still hurt her in that form. And as for her Soul… Well, you’ll be enlightened more on that later.
Now we’ll look at Elder Princess Shroob. As previously mentioned, EPS has the strength advantage over Bowletta up close, as well as from afar. Star Strike could manage to take out some Shroob Saucers, but it’s highly unlikely due to its random targeting and the saucers’ fast speeds. Plus, since EPS has shown to be quite fast on her feet, it’s likely she could outspeed Bowletta on the ground as well as in the air. She doesn’t have a way to get at her Soul, sure, but if left to her own devices she could probably just overpower Bowletta and kill her regardless. She probably wouldn’t even need her Beast Form to do the job.
Unfortunately, those advantages don’t carry over when facing off against Dark Bowser. First, let’s look at their strength comparison, which is actually quite easy for us to do: We can just look at some of their attacks…
…More specifically, Elder Shroob’s meteor and Dark Bowser’s boulder.
This is where stuff starts to get a little math-y. Can we roll out the Evidence Board, please?
Thank you! Okay, what we’re looking for here is the diameter of the meteor and the boulder respectively. We can do this by measuring their width in pixels relative to the size of the original screen of the console both Partners in Time and Bowser’s Inside Story were purposed for: the Nintendo DS, which has a pixel resolution of 256 x 192. After getting our screenshot samples, converting pixel resolution differences to find the appropriate multipliers, and running the diameters of both objects through our converter to get the exact sizes on the DS display, we found…
…That Dark Bowser’s boulder is much larger than Elder Shroob’s meteor – in fact, its diameter overshadows the meteor’s by a factor of just over 1.5! That’s quite the gap in just lifting strength alone, so you can imagine that Dark Bowser would have little trouble physically overpowering EPS in her base form.
Wow, Squigly, when did you get so good at math?
Oh, um, I-I’ve been studying to be more of a help with verdicts.
She’s determined if nothing else.
It shows! Anyway, next let’s address how Dark Bowser and EPS matched up at long range, which would be base EPS’s only chance at fighting when she was outclassed physically like that. It’s true that a collected mass of Shroob Saucers could pose a potent threat to Dark Bowser, but their numbers take time to amass and can be disrupted if the foe is given the chance. Dark Bowser not only has the ranged attacks to hit them out of the sky, but by curling up into a spike ball and flinging himself through the air, he could easily and nimbly pick them off one by one! By doing this, he can also catch up to EPS if she used saucers to try to fly away from him, forcing her to fight him up close where she was out of her league!
Unfortunately for her, her Beast Form would have made little difference either. Her long and branching tentacles could bind up Dark Bowser to temporarily subdue him, but he’s too strong for it to work for a very long time. And Dark Bowser is no fool in a fight, either – it may take him a while to realize his strikes aren’t working due to Elder Shroob’s crown’s protective aura, but he would notice it eventually due to its particle-esque appearance around her and target the obvious source. Thus, the Shroob Monarch could put up enough of a fight to outlast Bowletta, but her power was simply not enough to eclipse Dark Bowser’s.
Now, I think I can guess what you’re asking. “But what about the Dark Star Core? Couldn’t they attack it once they got it out?” While the answer to that is yes, it’s much too small and fast of a target for either Bowletta or EPS to hit before Dark Bowser would seize an opportunity just inhale it back inside his body. And besides, there’s only one way explicitly proven to catch the Dark Star Core, and that’s via inhaling – something Bowletta can do while EPS cannot. And this is where we come back to what we put aside before: Cackletta’s Soul versus the Dark Star Core. Are the results any different this time around?
Well… no. We can explain this by comparing their appearances in their boss fights. Not only was Cackletta herself defeated by the Mario Bros, but her soul was beaten too – even when the Bros were starting the fight one hit away from being knocked out! On the other hand, the Dark Star proved to be a formidable match for the Mario Bros at only half of its power while they were in top shape. There’s a pretty clear gap there. But we can take this deeper.
The only tool Cackletta’s Soul has at its disposal that could prove effective against the Dark Star Core was its ability to freeze time, but not only does the Dark Star Core have means of avoiding it once it learned to anticipate the telegraphed warning, shooting the legs of the Core is only half the battle. So long as it has its eyes, it can move its legs out of harm’s way by retracting them, and even then that’s not directly damaging the Core itself – to do that, you need to attack the Dark Star. And as we’ve already explained, the Dark Star on its own has proven to be a much bigger threat than Cackletta ever was. Add in the fact that the Core and the Dark Star combined have more unpredictable and dangerous attacks compared to Cackletta’s Soul, like shadow attacking and enormous laser blasts, as well as Cackletta’s Soul having a more obvious weak point than the Dark Star Core, and it’s plain to see the victor between these two inner beings.
Ultimately, as we’ve very clearly established, Dark Bowser had all the necessary tools to take this battle. Strength, range, speed, individual feats, versatility – you name it, he could do it, and better than his enemies to boot. Truly, he was the darkest evil of the hour.
Looks like we really got to the Inside Story of that fight!
The winner of this Courtroom Conflict is Dark Bowser.
Dark Bowser (Winner):
+Greatest raw strength
+Fastest and most mobile on the ground
+Best options to immobilize the foe(s)
+Difficult to kill without destroying the Dark Star Core
++Only Bowletta had a way of fighting the Core
+Best option for healing damage
+Ranged arsenal could counter Shroob Saucers
+Fire breath is a known equal to Bowser’s, and thus Bowletta’s
+Strongest feats outside of scaling to the Mario Bros. and Bowser
Elder Princess Shroob (Loser):
+Physically speaking, second strongest
+Crown’s aura in Beast Form mitigates damage
+Time Holes
+Great advantage if Shroob Saucers are present
-Downright featless for the most part
-Least optimal healing source
-Only at her strongest when she has Shroob Saucers at her aid
–Both her opponents could easily dispatch the Saucers
-Unlikely to be able to separate Dark Bowser and the Dark Star Core
–Even if she did, she has no way of trapping it
-Beast Form isn’t strong enough to defeat Dark Bowser
Bowletta (Loser):
+Potent attacks at range
+Dark Bowletta could resist damage
+Star Strike could counter Shroob Saucers
+Capable of capturing the Dark Star Core…
-…But her Soul isn’t strong enough to beat it
–Soul’s weak points are much more obvious than DSC’s
–Dark Bowser would immediately target her physical body, too
-Totally outmatched in close quarters
-A logical first target for Dark Bowser
-Least consequential arsenal
–Worst method of flight
